Dear fellow human,
Often, it feels like the whole World is closing in upon me and torturing me with the daily routine I’m forced to live by Fates. Sometimes, I think that my life story is probably the most boring and mundane one out of the lot. No surprises. No gusts of excitement. Everything is constant and even the ever flowing time seems to be relatively at rest because I don’t, and can’t, feel the subtle changes. This place has nothing to offer me and here I lay behind a screen, rotting away to the monotony of my life.
But one day, you came by and a conversation ensued. You will never know how relieved I was to finally break free from the constancy I’m bound to again, even if it was for a while. It was light and engaging. It was like two old pals catching up with each other again. It was refreshing to finally be in the company of someone new and someone remotely strange.
I have to let you in on a secret, things bore me easily. I may sound conceited and probably heartless when I say that I try my best to dodge the radars of people I’m extremely close to because of the sameness and the repetition. Don’t get me wrong. I love them all immensely, and I’d do anything for them and their happiness. But, at times, it weighs down upon me and I’m forced to resort to solitary to ease me off the burden of boredom. Fates are so cruel to someone who wants to seek out new experiences everyday. People usually say that a person can’t have everything in their lives. What’s lacking in my life is an adventure and opportunities to create long-lasting memories that I will take with me to my grave with a smile.
Wake up to the cacophonous and shrill alarm that is merely carrying out its duties dutifully early in the morning. Freshen up. Eat. Study. Blog. Talk to your parents and friends. Go out. Visit the same old worn out places. Eat. Study. Blog. Talk. Type. Talk. Type. Sleep. Wake up. Repeat. It’s a loop. It’s an iteration loop without a terminating statement. It’s a C++ loop gone incredibly wrong. It’s a loop of tedium that frustrates and pulls at every fibre of my brain.
I want to pulverize what confines me within and feel, touch, see, hear, taste, and satisfy this sense of impulsiveness. I want to be on the brink of old to usher in new. I want to dance along to the rhythm of transience. I want my bare feet to grace the barren land and feel the sands of Bondi against my skin. I want the tranquillity of the Mountains and the chaos of a First-World urban. I want to pry open the different Worlds in our World and experience each and every one of them. I want the solitude. I want the spotlight. I want new people. I want the old ones. I want both the extremes.
There are so many desires welling up within me that it seems hard for me to constrain them. Passion for different is a rabid dog. It has bit me and now I’m infected with its disease. The only cure, therefore, lies in seeking and feeling strangeness. That’s why I held onto you because you were an embodiment of unfamiliarity to me. That’s why I liked talking to you because you were a harbinger of change in my life.
Soon, you’d wear out too. That luminescence due to unknown will lessen due to known, and I will yet again embark on another journey to scrounge for the different. I sound vain. I’m aware of that. But, it’s now how you think it’s like. I’d come back for you. I’m always there for you. I love you, and always will, but a person like me only wishes to touch every element of this World before her time is up.
Come with me if you’d like. We can intrude upon the hidden together with our wild untamed hearts thumping for exhilaration. If you don’t wish to, that’s all right too. But, I’d never be able to thank you enough for stalling the humdrum for a while. I want you to know that my wildness will never be the death of our relationship. Ask me what I want, I’ll tell you that I want everything. All of it.