What loneliness did to me

Now that everything in the house has hushed itself, I can hear the birds whisper. The brown walls of those aged buildings tell a story of children foregone; of how they painted and sketched on the barren canvas-thinking as artists, marvelling their creations and giggling at their mischievousness. The tree sighs as if missing its only company and the cat plops down on the pavement after a tiring day.

I can hear the kids laugh and the neighbours quarrel. I can see the dust aloof and the clouds swim in the blue sky. I can feel the calmness of our street bearing brown. I’ve camouflaged with this little World crammed in a little corner of this country.

The Sun looks down at me, prodding me to go forth and gallop down the lane like a wild horse. I’ve been confined to this cage of loneliness for so long that my tongue has forgotten  the taste of a social life. People often speak of loneliness as a dark refuge or something unwanted that puts a leash around your neck. It’s all true. I did not want any of this and sometimes the four walls would hear me scream until my throat would rip apart. No one would swerve toward my cacophonous call. Everyone’s succumbed to what revolves around them or maybe, it is I who does not see what’s meant to be seen because in the end, what you see is what you want to see.

Festivity and melancholy fill the air. It’s a surreal aroma that lives a bland taste. Arguments and wails hit the eardrum. It’s a raucous music that makes my ears bleed. Flight and freedom pierce my eyes. It’s a motionless picture that enchants an artist’s mind. The mind captures all elements of nature. It suddenly feels like a 1080p youtube video.

The blue is peaceful and not a bit miserable. The camaraderie which had me pen down so many tales on pain and misery now has me reminiscing of the sweet times long gone. Sloven mistakes had me double up in laughter. Loneliness paved way to memories I thought were lost.

It’s this solitude that drives me into sadness. The same solitude that turns me into a bitter person. However,  loneliness fills me with a new desire and I now want to break this door open to let in the light and endure what I refrained from.



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