I Want Everything EVERYTHING! #BookThoughts2

I’ve read the book Everything Everything by the lovely Nicola Yoon about two to three months ago and even though a lot of things happened in that span of time which should have buried the experience I had with Madeline and Oli in my brain’s graveyard, it’s still as fresh as the honeysuckles in my mind.

Yet again, I assure you, there are no spoilers in this post whatsoever.

What do I like about the book? I like EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BOOK! It may sound like I am exaggerating, but I’m not. It’s been a long while since I treated my eyes to some good story and I consider myself fortunate to come across this book. For this first time in a long time, the fates have been extremely kind to me.

The real reason why I love the story is because I was able to connect to it on a personal level. I’m currently 17 and living in a World like mine can be a bit suffocating once in a while, hence, the blog posts and stuffs like that. However, there’s more to it than just the connection.

The way it has been written is brilliant! The transition from one part of the story to another is eloquent and smooth. Though the outcome was somewhat predictable in the middle (For me. You may hold a different opinion.), it had me holding my breath throughout the overall exhilarating experience. I love Madeline’s persona. The characters in the book are witty, smart and humorous. They may be just teenagers, but they are teenagers with an insight into different facets of life and that is refreshing because you rarely find teenagers who think along different lines.

This story isn’t just restricted to Madeline’s and Oli’s romance. It accomplishes in branching out to different scenarios and the diversity incorporated by the author in the story is absolutely commendable, though some of the instances may seem a bit unnecessary due to the lack of story revolving around that particular character, it still proves to be efficient in bringing together divergent issues and not make it look like a dish that has been overdecorated, because of the elegance of the writer.

What makes this book even unique is the illustrations that come along with it which makes the book all the more exciting to read. Believe me or not, I finished reading this book in about three or four days (considering the fact that I’m a slow reader and I had tests to prepare for.), and I’d say it was possible because the amazing illustrations plus the intriguing storyline had me turning pages until Mom would reproach me for not paying her enough attention.

The book is close to my heart because of how much I can relate to it. I’m aware that I’ve said this before, but my Madeline-esque character and similarities with Oli’s familial background just deepens my bond with it.

The story may have its own highs and lows, but which one doesn’t? In the end, I’d suggest everyone reading this to read the wonderful book if they haven’t. I absolutely adore this book, and there are so many elements in the book anyone can relate to!  Although, I must warn you to fasten your seat belt for the unexpected twist. It had my mind swirling around for an hour or two and that’s how one knows the story is beautifully crafted and mesmerizing. Well, you may have your own modus operandi to determine if it’s that good, but we will not dwell on that for now.

What are you waiting for? Plunge right in into the adventure and set the butterflies rioting within.

Thank You Nicola Yoon for penning this book down! I’m grateful beyond words for a book like this ❤

My Best Friend

I wish writing this was as easy as writing an essay in grade 4.

My best friend is sweet. She is very caring. My best friend makes me laugh and cry, but I still love her even when she makes me cry. She is very evil. She loves pranking. We love playing and have a lot of fun when we are together. My best friend is the best in this entire World. 

Don’t worry. I am not here to deteriorate that highly developed literary mind of yours. However, whatever I did write above is all true.

Why am I writing this? It’s not like I will never see her again because this sounds a lot like a parting message for someone. Well, I won’t be seeing her again in a long time, and it does drive my brain into the streets of melancholy where there is nothing but desertion and grief. The only time my head finds its way back into the meadow of happiness is when I interact with her. On a serious note though, she does mean the World to me (sorry about the dramatic effect, but it’s true!)

Our relationship wasn’t always like the one people generally have with pizzas. It had its own crests and trenches (not as deep as the Mariana Trench though. I would never want a pitfall like that one), but we still got through it all and I am utterly privileged to have a friend like MY best friend (go away dude she’s mine).

I still remember how highly one of the teachers talked about her before she first graced the class with her presence. It had me wondering if she was really that smart as the teacher made it seem like. You may ask, is she? And I will tell you she’s an idiot like me ( a much better idiot than me though. Kidding. She’s so smart that she will leave you in a daze with her words.).

As a new student in the class, she obviously had everyone’s attention. Did you ever have a boyfriend? Where are you from? Who was your first crush? You look like one of our seniors! Hey, are you a Filipino? And there I was, lurking in the shadows and casting a sceptic glance. She seemed fine. She was cute and really chubby. She seemed like a bubbly girl who loved playing around. Little did that old me know that this amazing lass would be my best friend one day and that I would be a victim to her mischievousness.

Time flew by and our class was basically a source of chaos. There wasn’t a single moment where we wouldn’t act sane. We were the definition  of weirdo (Okay. Not all of us, but I was one of the weirdos) and naturally, the new girl was genuinely weirded out.

She was still trying to acclimatize in the new environment and we weren’t making it any easier for her. I won’t dwell much on all the memorable moments we had together as a class because I’m on the verge of an emotional outburst here, but I will tell you this-she became  one of us. She may still not admit that if you ask her, but she merged in like a chameleon. People aren’t static poles. They are ever dynamic.

Ah! The good times we had together. She may find it a little embarrassing if I write all this down on a public platform because they are the goofiest moments one could have. Her striking and charismatic persona indulging in these silly idiotic activities is something that is hard to imagine by people living outside the ring. Enter it, and you will soon realize she’s not the story she’s been telling you.

My Wonder Girl is mysterious (there is an interesting story behind why I started calling her Wonder Girl and trust me, it is very silly and nothing profound) and enigmatic. Her unpredictable and impish character contrasted with my reclusive and low-spirited character. She would always, somehow, turn on the right combinations in my brian that filled me with a zeal and impulsiveness. True to her name, she was colorful and added colors to my black and white life.

Where would I be without her? In the past few days I’ve begun to shed the skin she made me grow. You’ll find me less excited, less enthusiastic, less exuberant about anything. I wish I wouldn’t rely on her so much and I wish I could be the person she’d love to be with without her help. I wouldn’t be anywhere without her. In fact, I’d be a lost pug looking for a refuge.

I’m not a kid. I will grow out of it. Some day, I’m going to stop leaning on her shoulder which has probably weighed her down so much, but that won’t stop me from being with her.

She may live on the other side of the World and I on the other. There will be new people entering our lives and we’ll probably not talk as much as we do now. It hurts to think that. It frustrates me to think that some people will still get to be with her when I don’t-the one who desperately wants her friend’s affection-but I don’t have to be physically there to feel her presence. I know wherever  she is and wherever I am, we will always be together no matter what happens.

My best friend is beautiful. She’s the most wonderful person one can have in their lives. In fact, if she’s your friend then you’ve been honored to have her as one. I may have given her a lot of ego boost by now, but that’s just how I feel.

My only solace now lies in the future. The future may drift us apart, but the future will bring us together and converge our two distinct Worlds yet again. I will take her to the Coachella on her 24th year in this World (I still didn’t gift her a present on her 18th birthday. I’m a prick. I know.) and go to an amusement park together (maybe disneyland, but I still haven’t decided which one) and have our pillow cases printed with, “My Head is an Oil Rig”. I have big plans for her children, her grandchildren, and this means that we will live till we’re all worn out (I promised her I wouldn’t get involved in life-threatening stuffs and not get too drunk) and since she’s one year older than me, she will have to read me bed time stories. We will wile away our lazy hours by sitting on armchairs next to each other and watch our pranks unfold into their full glory on those little adorable pesky kids.

Believe it or not. She’s the only one who knows what to etch on my tombstone after I pass away. You may tell me this is nothing but a wishful thought. None can plan out the layout of the future in the present. It may not happen the way I want it to, but I will make our Worlds collide no matter what happens.

In the end, Suranjana Goswami, I just want you to know that I love you. You’ll make new buddies and all, but you will always be my me lass, and you will always be my foremost Wonder Girl. The future has only posed me a challenge that I’m ready to tackle.

I love You ❤

 

The Twisty-Knotty Love

I sat down to alleviate the stress that was building up inside my anatomical cauldron. At some point of time, I may have mixed the ingredients in a wrong proportion and the potion of despondency that came out of it wasn’t doing me any good. I was on my knees begging for tranquillity at  the nadir when I fell from the airy  and mellifluous zenith of love. It happens. Not everything is as smooth as a frictionless plane. ‘Tis the real World lassie! Buckle up for the free-fall once in a while.

My fingers found their way to a new Chrome tab and eventually Facebook. Oh, the good ole social media! The same social media that has given me everything that I never wanted and regrets upon regrets, but I still found refuge in Mr.FB. Sometimes, there’s good in bad. Social media is like the Yin and Yang.

Lo and Behold! A notification? A new message it was and I click on it.

“People say love yourself before you love anyone else. But what happens when loving someone else becomes the thing you love most about yourself.
 
-reenad
 
What do u think?”, It read. 
The ever adventurous mind wandered away in search of what love is, all the while I was sitting on my constant chair (which probably has an impression of my butt) and staring at the screen with eyes wide open. It felt like I was awakened from a trance. The head which once hurt now seemed to have gone for a respite. Interesting. She got my attention.
“it’s cool
 
if loving that person is something you love about yourself then that statement does become pretty useless”, I text back still pondering. 
“That’s the point you learn to love urself loving someone else”, she says.
“but what if loving someone else does nothing but hurt you
 
it’s not always you learn to love yourself by loving someone else”, I reply and found myself a bit disoriented.
 
“Not always
 
It was not a general statement
 
It was just a particular case”.
“yeah
 

cuz loving someone comes at a great cost”.

 

This was something I did not want to type. This was something I refrained from thinking because the wounds are still fresh and I’ve been trying, very strenuously, to contain the disappointment that comes with love for the past few days. Did I always have to spill a darker shade of hue just to make things seem less magical than they are?

However, everything comes at a great cost, doesn’t it? They all have their own side-effects. So, I didn’t stop there.

“Like?”, she says. I expected that and I knew where this was going.
 This wasn’t the first time me and Reenad had a constructive discussion on a facet of life. Sometimes, it’d get so philosophical that it would make me wonder why I am not pursuing a degree in metaphysics. These discussions would make us stumble upon unbeknownst revelations by rummaging too hard in the rubble of buried information. People may either agree or disagree with the ideas, but they are all just that-wondering at the edges of existentialism.
Most of the time, it’d just drive me bonkers. I will admit that, but it never hindered my urge to sit and have one with her.
I finally reply, “with love comes uncertainty and anxiety and angst and sadness and hope and happy and yeah your own version of paradise
 
sometimes love also means letting go of someone just to watch out for them and love them from the shadows”
“Hmm
 
True”.
“even if you don’t want to do it even though it’s horrible even though it breaks you from within you just have to d o it
 
cuz you know that’s better for both of you
 
love also comes with sacrifices”.
“True”.
“sometimes you have to let go of something whether you like it or not
 
just to sustain that relationship”, I utter. I found myself typing whatever I was feeling at that moment. 
“Exactly because love is the other PEROSN lap pines o ER urs”, and the good old typo strikes back. I missed you typo, but you weren’t wanted here. It was going  great without you.
“lap pines o ER urs what xD”. Hey! I, honestly, couldn’t comprehend what that meant.
“Persons happiness over yours *”, she corrects herself. 
“and sometimes love comes with strife to make both ends meet
 
it wears you off from within it’s exhausting you get sick of it all but you’re an adamant person so you don’t let go”, I  text back. 
“Sometimes holding onto SOEMTHING hurts more than letting go”.
 
“and that’s why loving someone is essentially a choice
 
it’s a very thin thread-like shimmering bond of choice between two lovers
 

you choose to leave bam it snaps”. I wondered then, after saying that, if I’d ever leave even if I could. She was right. Sometimes, holding onto something does hurt more than letting go and I could just let go, but was I ready for that yet? Will it promise me the contentment and peace I desperately want?

Maybe. Maybe it will get rid of the growing angst and frustration, and maybe it will turn out to be one of my regrets. The stack of regrets is already piling up and here I am standing right below it. If I add one more to it, the stack is going to come down crumbling and there is no way I want to be buried in that stash.

“True”, she replies.
 
“i guess yeah”.
 
“Leaving someone is a choice
 
You wake up every morning”
She stopped typing for a while, probably waiting for my response.“you were typing :)”, I say.
“And decide I love this person”. Maybe, but it sounded a bit drastic to my ears.
“and you don’t decide just like that…..you ponder you check once or twice and again and again if the person is really the one and if you’re ready to give it all to keep the bond intact
 
when you feel that you’re ready to sacrifice anything just to be with that person and go to great lengths to sustain it you know you’re in love”, I reply.
“True
 
Very true
 
When nothing makes sense without that person you’re in love”.
“i remember reading this one article where a guy threw himself in front of his girlfriend to protect her from the bomb….
 
blast
 
i think it was on bbc
 
i remember reading an article where a girl pushed her best friend aside from the oncoming vehicle and that girl died the best friend survived….
 
and ever since then the best friend set out to do stuffs that would make her cross out stuffs from the girl’s bucket list
 
that’s love
 
i know a couple who seem incompatible to the rest of the world and aren’t happy in each other’s presence most of the time but there’s still the glimmering light of love in their eyes that flicker in their old eyes hasn’t died yet
 
love gives them hope
 
that’s just love
 

love is a beautiful feeling isn’t it?”. 

In that moment, I smiled. Saying all that about love somehow made me feel a bit lighter. The same love that could torment a person’s soul within can make the same person feel as light as a feather and put a smile on their face. It felt like I was being drifted away by the soaring birds in the morning sky. For the first time in a few days, a hope rekindled within me.

“It is”, she says.
 
“it’s dark and mysterious too
 
whatever it is….”
 
“And when u can do anything or that person when u read these things and u know inside ur heart you would jump in front of a bus to save ur person
 
You know it’s love
 
When just thinking about them makes u smile it’s love”.
 
“….i hope in the future i’m privileged to love and to be loved….i already am honored to love tbh”
 

She reassures me by saying, “You will be ❤”,

 

Will I? I will leave it to the wicked fates above, but love is such a perplexing concept.

The same love which can dunk a person in sadness can send the butterflies rioting within. The same love which can make a person feel hopeless can fill the person with a new ray of pure bliss. The same love which can make a person feel frustrated can bestow upon a person the courage to keep going on. The same love which can drive a person insane can keep the person sane. The same love which can deepen the understanding between two people can rouse misunderstandings between them. The same love which can make something hard to let go can compel one to let go. The same love which is toxic is also a tonic.

Love is peculiar, and that is why it’s so beautiful. There’s something intriguing and stimulating in anything mysterious. It tickles your senses and the air is filled with giggles and laughter, it also shuts down all your senses and there is an air of desolation all around. Love does that. Love stops at nothing. It’s twisted and puzzling.Yet again, it’s all worth it.

Wonder #BookThoughts1

Adorable, funny and memorable. This book has everything there is to know about life. From empathy to what  is essential in our journey of life, the book has impacted me in ways unexplainable yet here  I am racking my brain to put what I learnt in an eloquent way. My modus operandi is a bit turbulent today. It’s hard because there are so many things one learns once they lay their hands on this book! They are all muddled up in my brain, tangled, and I sit here plucking at the entangled strings vibrating with a new energy and new insights.

I assure you that there are no spoilers whatsoever in this post because I feel you buddy. I’m one of your own.

Your life’s not a smooth ride when you’re normal. Heck! It feels like the roads you drive your car on have nothing but ditches and speed-breakers. Oh! How one wishes everything were as easy as munching on an apple-pie or whatever you like gobbling up because not everyone likes apple-pies. Now, imagine someone deformed. Imagine you’re deformed. Imagine people looking at you out of shock, disgust and pity. The reason why I am stressing on you to imagine is because there is no other way you can actually feel the struggles of a deformed person and this is where empathy comes in.

This book speaks empathy throughout its pages from numero uno to the end and why not? We will never know how to be around a person if we first do not learn HOW the person feels for himself. What if the person does not want pity? What if the person wants genuine affection and normal? What if the person wants other people to know that it OKAY to be astonished and all that matters for him is their fond bond? You can only know how to befriend someone who’s unique by connecting with them mentally. That is why empathy is so important and we are indeed gifted to accomplish such a feat-to understand one by placing ourselves in their shoes.

Like I mentioned earlier, it has more than just empathy. It’d be crude of a storyline with a potential for lots of virtuous branches to stop at empathy and not go beyond that. I sing praises for this book, especially because one leaves with more than what he sought for.

Misunderstandings. It is very natural for misunderstandings to arise in a relationship. Differing interpretations and choices. We all know how it is like. Sometimes, our actions are perceived in a way we never intended. This causes conflicts, bitter arguments, sadness and eventually loss. It’s a part of our everyday lives, but that doesn’t mean there is nothing we can do about it.

Be open to what others have to say. Don’t put a period once you’re done thrusting your opinion onto the person. We aren’t always right or wrong, so why not hear them out? It’s up to you whether you want to believe them or not, but there’s always more to the story, there is always something lurking deep under the surface. Sitting down and having a constructive discussion on the problems always helps.

Forgive and forget. This book teaches you that. It’s not because life is too short and precious to hold any grudges. It’s because people do realize where they’ve gone wrong and yearn for a change and YOU have the power to let them change for the better if you forgive them.

People can put on their masquerade masks and drape an entirely different persona due to social or peer pressure. It’s not just prevalent in this fictional story. It is very real. I, myself, have donned a character I’d certainly loathe if I ever looked at it through another person’s eyes. Nonetheless, I changed and groomed myself over the years and this is one of the many reasons why the book speaks to me on such a personal level.

We’ve lost what we cherished and gained more to adore, but they never last that long either. Everything is ephemeral. What is immortal anyway? As far as we all know, even the existential Universe will soon fade away, but we will concern ourselves with just people and pets.

You may have someone who understands your plight. That someone is the only one who can actually understand what you are going through, but they aren’t around for long. Soon, you find yourself plunging into a vortex of misery and memories. It’s hard for you to keep up with life that does not stop at anything. You are left with no choice but to move on. Someone or something may truly love you for who you are. Not out of pity, not out of a compulsion due to the societal and moral implications, but out of true affection. It doesn’t matter who you are or how you look. They love you nonetheless and they depart from this mortal World too.

One may manage to divert their mind from certain memories for a while, but wounds don’t ever completely heal. They always open up, sooner or later, so one has to keep a fresh set of stitches and needles with them to close those new wounds which have been cut open through memories. That is how life is. It comes up with new twists and you eventually learn to figure your way out of the hysterical twist. Don’t EVER give up.

This book encourages one to grow in a way that will have a positive impact on you and those around you. It has many methods one can incorporate to brush on those emotional skills. It is highly recommended for kids due to the simplicity of the writing and easily comprehensible nuances in the story. However, I’m sure that the book can be enjoyed by kids and adults alike. Adults, especially, will be able to grasp more than what I highlighted here.

So, if it is already in your possession, then delay no further! Jump right into this enigmatic wonder and behold the little adventure. It will leave you wonderstruck!

I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I did. It truly is a masterpiece.

A Reader’s Lament

Novels possess the impressive power to captivate a person’s attention and bewitch the reader into thinking that he or she is not in this world but in a realm where they are someone else and not the character that defines them in reality.

That’s the good thing about novels, you read the first few lines and you’re lost in the hundreds of pages that won’t stop turning until you reach the end and finally realize that the roller coaster ride with your fictional mates is finally over, unless, you choose to do it over and over again.

But what happens when you haven’t completed your journey yet and some ignorant human, who has already experienced the thrill, blurts out what happens in the book? Agony, affliction, rage and fury are the perfect words to describe your state of mind. That little spoiler feels like the bane of your life and I think little is an understatement for something as significant as that.

Why are spoilers so agonizing anyway? Obviously, any reader would want to experience the adventure themselves and would not want anyone to ruin it for them. How would you feel if someone tells you who died or what really happened in the end in the novel you’ve been waiting to read for ages or has already been enlisted as one of your favorites because it just happens to be epic? Traumatic right? Exactly.

It won’t stop you from reading the book, but the excitement level will definitely come down because you know what to expect and your brain has already put up a shield if anything saddening comes in the way, what should have been depressing will only turn into-“Oh well, I already expected that, thanks to a not- so- generous mortal friend of mine.”

Spoilers are the worst burns a reader can experience, some people do it intentionally while others don’t realize what they are ranting on about until they see you looking cross and say “Oops! My bad” and I would say it is your bad my dear friend, you are at a very grave fault indeed.

Dramatic? I’m afraid not because wherever you go, this is the reader’s wail you’ll never stop listening to once the damage has been done.

Our beloved John Green did once say, “That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.” But this is one pain that mustn’t ever be felt by readers across the globe for they are better left alone with their book, in their own world where they won’t come out of it until they realize it’s all over.

Thanks a lot, my dear friend, for the one spoiler that you gave away. You’ve not only taken away my privilege to experience the thrills and chills of the novel, you’ve also taken away my trust as well as patience to await a book. On the brighter side, you have certainly turned me into a very considerate human being because I will always be on my guard to not spill any into our  fellow readers’ ears.

Peace. Just don’t do it next time a’right?

The Laptop

The laptop, grizzled in age, rests on the black desk. Despite the maturity, it looks young, rejuvenated and seems to be teeming with a profound energy, but anyone can sense that its days are numbered. You’ve been very faithful to the family in the course of eight years, dear Sir, but the time is nigh for us to bid you adieu.

Though new on the outside, it has grown weak and feeble on the inside. It takes too long to process a command, too slow for anyone’s liking and alas! It’s not as efficient as it was eight years prior.

I remember the first time dad handed me, a nine year old girl, the responsibility of handling the laptop. How delighted I was to welcome the brand new family member and have an account on my name. It was all mine and my nimble hands found its way moving in every direction, to every corner of the screen as if I were a doctor probing the anatomy of a patient. I was curious and I had to quench the thirst as soon as possible by drinking in everything new I found.

One would find me wile away my leisure by playing ‘purble palace’, online games or a good old game of chess and minesweeper. Solitaire, hearts, checkers and paint; they were all a victim to my bored mind. I can still see me and my friend sitting in front of the laptop and arguing over who baked the best cake and which movie we would watch. Ah! The movies I watched in that machine, from Barbie Mariposa to Gods Must be Crazy, it was just me with my snacks and the laptop-my own private theatre in a heavenly abode.

The laptop was also an essential educational tool. My dad installed the Encarta encyclopedia when I stepped into grade 5 and would find myself reading a variety of articles and exploring distinct ancient sites over different time periods, from the Abu Simbel to the Colosseum.

The knowledge I amassed over the years and that now resides within my brain is all because of the dutiful sir, who found it his utmost priority to expose me to a world within the internet through his applications and made it possible for me to explore, scrutinize and gulp the bulk of information.

Where would I be without the laptop? There are so many good memories attached to it. Nights when I would whip my hair back and forth to all my favorite songs, read those valiant ebooks and chat with my friends. It allowed me to embark on adventures in a fantasy land and dispel any melancholy that arose within me. It helped me with my homework, my presentations, and I dedicate the A on my mark-sheet to Mr.Laptop, for without him, it wouldn’t have been possible at all. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but it still helped me in getting an A!

I, now, type all this in another laptop. However, the revered sir still holds my respect and plaudits for his service over so many years. I grew up with him. In a way, he’s shaped me into who I am today, but all good things do come to an end and the time is ripe, for Sir, to sever all his ties with me, and I with him.

I, hereby, vindicate Sir Compaq of his duties and responsibility toward me and my family. I hope he finds peace and contentment in the zenith once he truly departs from all of us. He shall be missed dearly and I’m sure that there will not be another one like him. He’s touched our hearts and I write all this with the agony of separation I bear in my heart. I’ve lost many a thing and gained many in the course, but he is unlike anyone and he shall forever reside in my transient heart.

Mother says you can see the dead in the stars. I shall never forget to look up at the night sky and see you watch over me. I’ll see you on the other side, Sir.